The Gentle Art of Persuasion

• Summary sentence—Verbal judo begins with a habit of mind. In Japanese, ju means gentle and do means way, thus judo means “the gentle way.” Verbal judo is the gentle way of persuasion.
• Best chapter: Chapter 6—11 things to never say (and how to respond if some idiot says them to you). This chapter lists phrases that we sometimes use during conflict and do not realize how they are coming across to others; common sense advice presented quickly.
• Helpful homework—throughout the book is an emphasis on being able to paraphrase or translate what another person has said. In chapter 10, the author uses a specific sentence that would good homework for us to include in our conversations, “Let me be sure I heard what you just said . . . .”
• Definitions—active listening is a highly complex skill with four different steps: 1) being open and unbiased, 2) hearing literally, 3) interpreting the data, and 4) acting.
• Chart or list worth noting—in chapter 27 the Principles of Impartiality Toward is a list of 15 things that are like a conclusion of concepts. You may not understand each point and will need to read more in order to understand, but if you only read three pages of the book start with these.

Closing Thoughts

The author’s context is training police officers in volatile situations. Your life context may be a bit different, so use wisdom when applying his principles to your situations.