by Ron Perry

As a manager, I was surprised one day to hear someone say to me, “I don’t know when, how, or even if I should ask for help!” I was taken aback because as a manager I see my role as one of helping my team do their job, but for a member of my team to tell me that meant that he did not understand my role as his helper. He also revealed that he did not know how to ask for help. As a result of that comment, my wheels began to turn. It was a challenge to me to realize that one of the needs every manager has is to help his team learn how to ask for help. If we can do that, we can do what we are supposed to do as managers—be a help!

So how do I help my team ask for help? First, I must remember that the very word team implies that it takes all of us to do a particular task. Help is not a horrible word that a team member should never utter. Rather, it should be a frequently used word because the essence of a team is to help one another achieve a mutual goal. A team develops a culture of help when members know their roles. As a manager, I want my team to know that my role is to help them. I can do that by being available, asking questions, reiterating my role to them, and then helping them when they need it.

Second, I must teach my team members that there is a fine art to asking for help. Neither the Accusatory Asker, the Roundabout Asker, nor the Last-minute Asker has learned that fine art. The Accusatory Asker asks for help by implying that your negligence, oversight, or lack of concern is the reason he has to ask for help in the first place. It’s hard to know with the Roundabout Asker if he is informing you of a problem that he has under control or one that he wants your help with: he never comes right out and asks for help. And because the Last-minute Asker does not look ahead, he asks for help when, often, it is too late to help him. To help your team members with the fine art of asking questions, teach them the following three things: (1) believe that the person from whom you are asking help really does want to help you, (2) be direct and clear: “I need help with the following,” (3) be timely with the request: don’t wait until the last minute.

The third way we help our team learn to ask us for help is to look to our Helper’s example. How does God teach us to ask Him for help?

▪ He gives us responsibility that is more than we can do alone.
▪ He gives us a clear channel of communication with Him—prayer.
▪ He enjoys helping us and never mocks or ridicules our requests for assistance.
▪ He never moans or finds our requests an inconvenience.
▪ He helps and often goes beyond what we requested.

To be like God our Helper ought to be our goal as Christian team managers. Therefore, we must not only teach our team members how to ask us for help but also make it easy for them to ask.