by Claudia Barba

For women in ministry, it’s easy to get to the Looney Reunion.

Just follow these directions…

Always

• Sit in the back so you can watch reactions to your husband in the pulpit.
• Count absentees rather than blessings.
• Entertain formally, in a spotless house, using complicated recipes, linen napkins, your wedding china, and Grandma’s lace tablecloth.
• Expect your children to behave like short grown-ups.
• Wonder “what she meant by that.”
• When you are sick, be in the pew instead of in the bed.
• Do at least three things at once.

Never

• Forgive.
• Delegate.
• Sleep late.
• Develop friendships outside your own ministry.
• Be away on Sunday.
• Pass up an opportunity to worry.
• Take a walk for fun rather than for exercise.
• Study the Word except to teach.
• Spend an evening at home alone.

Believe

• All you hear about the former pastor’s wife.
• That people will never move away.
• That nursery workers will never forget.
• That people will schedule vacations around the church calendar.
• That you must have special music at every service.
• That you are always right.
• That you are always wrong.
• That you can make others do right.
• That when they do wrong, it’s your fault.

Forget

• To laugh. To cry.
• To play. To pray.
• That the devil is a liar.
• That your Father loves you.
• That He has everything under control.
• That people are human.
• That you are, too.
• That attendance at the Looney Reunion is optional.