by Betty Brock

Have you ever watched a child learn the delicate art of persuading friends or siblings to play what he wants to play or even help him with his chores?  I watched one of my children learn this art form.  At first when he came up with a great idea of fun with which he wanted everyone to  join in, he told them it would be fun and that they should join him in his new game.  His friends and siblings did not believe him, and they did not fall in with his plan.  He came in complaining and frustrated that he had a really great idea, and no one would try it.  I listened to the idea, agreed that the idea would be fun for the friends and siblings, and then gave him my wise motherly advice:  go back out and putter around with his project, ask one of his knowledgeable friends for some input on bettering the idea, ask his friend if he thought anyone else would like to work on it with them, and always look like he was having lots of fun.  Pretty basic stuff!  But it worked. And the same ideas apply in our women’s ministries.  We sometimes call this recruitment and delegation.

As I have talked with pastors’ wives and ladies who work with women’s ministries, I have had many different responses as to how they generate help for their different responsibilities.  Some have said they do everything and like it that way.  Some say they do everything because they don’t have anyone qualified to do the different tasks.  One pastor’s wife told me that she feared people may think she is not qualified if she does not do the jobs herself.  I sometimes hear of the fears concerning disloyalty to the leadership and problems caused in the church when delegating is done.  Even though there may be problems in the process, God does want us to involve others in ministry.  We often believe that a successful outcome of an event or ministry goal means God has been glorified, but God is as interested in the process of growing people as He is the final outcome.

Exodus 18:13-26 gives us an excellent example of God’s attitude about doing the job alone.  Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, came for a short visit from Midian to find Moses serving as the only judge of the children of Israel “from the morning unto the evening.”  In the past, Jethro had only seen Moses as a shepherd; now Moses was the leader of a nation.  Would Jethro be proud of his famed son-in-law?  Notice Jethro’s response, “The thing that thou doest is not good.”   This wise man who had mentored Moses on the back side of the desert taught him again the valuable leadership principle of involving others rather than one-man rule.  “Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone” (Exodus 18:18).

As Moses, we will wear out by doing everything ourselves.  Finding qualified people is sometimes a challenge; Moses had no experienced judges to choose from—only ex-bricklayers.  Verse 16 indicates that Moses thought he was the best person to relay to the people God’s decrees and laws, and most probably the people thought he was the best choice. Yet he followed Jethro’s advice and chose “able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness” to help rule the people.  In Numbers 11 and 27, Moses again delegated more responsibility and authority with God’s direction and protection “that thou bear it not thyself alone.”

So, the first step is realizing that it is not God’s plan for us to do the job alone.  The second step is learning the differences in ladies’ personalities, leadership styles, and spiritual gifts.  The book, The Delicate Art of Dancing with Porcupines:  Learning to Appreciate the Finer Points of Others by Bob Phillips is a good resource for understanding differences.   I also strongly recommend a study of spiritual gifts in Romans 12:1-9, 1 Corinthians 12:1-31, Ephesians 4:1-16, and 1 Peter 4:10-11, because each of your ladies has at least one spiritual gift for the purpose of loving and serving others.  What a blessing it would be for them to place that gift in God’s service.

The third step is prayer, and this step must permeate all the steps; but we must especially pray that God would lead in involving more ladies in His service.  Praying for help is definitely one of the things Christ told us to pray for.  “Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth laborers into his harvest” (Matthew 9:38).  Ask God for ladies to help with specific needs.  It’s all about serving others . . . your serving these potential servants of Christ and their serving others.