Teaching Biblical Modesty

What It Is

  • Sense of propriety
  • Proof of self-control
  • Dignity
  • Unassuming
  • Discreet
  • Humble

What It Is Not

  • Forward or bold
  • Proof of self-indulgence
  • Flashy, blatant
  • Presumptuous
  • Arrogant, vain

Includes

  • Dress
  • Speech
  • Conduct
  • General Appearance
  • Attitudes

Modesty is not what you wear; modesty is what you are.

What Does the Bible Teach About Modesty?

Note other words used in Scripture that pertain to the meaning and principle of modesty.

Modest With respectability, decorum; proper, seemly, suitable; diffident (not bold or forward); unpretentious; not showy; moderate; not excessive or extreme; not extravagant In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array (1 Timothy 2:9).

Moral qualities accompanying modesty:

Shamefacedness—bashful, easily abashed, blend of modesty and
humility

Sobriety—being wise and watchful in spirit and conduct; seriousness without sadness or melancholy; sensible
Discreet; Discretion Good judgment,  prudence, carefulness, good taste, understanding As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion (Proverbs 11:22).

Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee (Proverbs 2:11).
Chaste

Chaste conversation (manner of life)

 Clean, pure, consecrated, unsullied That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,  To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:4-5).

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands (1 Peter 3:2-5).
Exaltation Psalm 24;

Colossians 3:23;
1 Corinthians 10:31

 God is the Creator; His original purpose is that all I do should bring glory to Him.  Does what I am doing delight and honor God?
Edification

Expedience

 Colossians 3:17;
1 John 2:31 Corinthians 6:12		 God’s purpose for me is Christlikeness.  My purpose in life is to live for His pleasure and glory.  Does this build me up spiritually and help me be more like Christ?  Is my goal higher than momentary personal pleasure?
Cause and Effect 1 Peter 3:4a; Matthew 15:18-20; Proverbs 4:23; Jeremiah 17:9; Proverbs 23:7 What I believe and desire will ultimately determine how I think, speak, and act.

What I do or say is a reflection of the condition of my heart.

Am I willing to judge my motives in how I dress?

What does my dress say about me?
Worship

Acceptance

Fear of man

 Romans 8:18-32 What I do expresses worship to God or something else (idolatry).  What do my actions, speech, and appearance tell about whom or what I worship?
Trust Proverbs 3:5-6; Psalm 19:7-11 I do not always understand God’s way; but I know His way, no matter how hard, is always best.  Am I willing to submit to His ways and live my life according to His precepts?
Enslavement

Association

Entanglement

 1 Corinthians 6:12; 2 Peter 2:19; Ephesians 2:1-5; 2 Peter 1:4; Proverbs 22:3; Romans 13:14 What do my actions, words, and appearance say about my desires and whom I want to please?  Because of my strong desire to be accepted, I realize I may be tempted and become entangled in sin and ungodly associations.  I must  make no provision for the flesh.
Example

Stumblingblock

 Romans 13:10;

I Thessalonians 4:4-7 (go beyond—to overstep the proper limits; defraud—to stir up desires that cannot rightfully be fulfilled)

 Is there anyone I would not want to see me while I am doing this, dressed this way, talking like this?

Does it cause others to sin?

How We Teach Modesty—By Instilling Biblical Principles  (Deuteronomy 6:5-9)

What Does Modesty Look Like in Appearance and Clothing Decisions?

    • Carefulness in dress for the sake of others, not allowing own comfort and convenience to rule decisions
    • Sensitivity to the nature of man’s makeup to be more easily aroused by sight
    • Appropriateness of dress for each occasion
    • Acceptance and enjoyment of sexuality and sensuality in appropriate place (with her husband in private)
    • Discretion about the purchase of new fads and styles
    • Appreciation of inner beauty
    • Focus on being attractive without being alluring and seductive

Questions About Fit, Fashion, and Function That Need an Answer:

  1. Why was it immodest to show your ankle in the early 1890’s and now it is not?
  2. Doesn’t God want us to be attractive? Attractive—yes; sexy—no; appealing—yes (to our husband)
  3. How do you know what is “appropriate” for different functions? Are there some activities that we cannot do?

Bible times:  people wore robes that were belted with sashes.  To ”gird up loins” was to take the garment from the back and tuck into sash,  thus being appropriate for work in the fields, etc.

  1. Is there a difference in “style” and “fad”?
  2. Is there anything wrong with being in style or following fads?
  3. Why are fashion styles always changing?
  4. The purpose of advertising is to create discontent with the status quo—–to create a covetous attitude.
  5. “Marketing Cool” (Frontline, PBS)—Making more money is the issue;  young people are being used because they have a lot of money to spend.  Strategy:  going to most radical teens to decide what to market next (“mook” with young teen guys; “sex” and “midriff” with young girls); Viacom (MTV), Sprite.
  6. The continual changing of clothing designers to exploit different sensual parts of the body. Why?  Make more money.
  7. Am I responsible for somebody else’s wrong thoughts?
  8. Does the Bible give us definite guidelines of dress? When God was the designer . . .

Adam and Eve—Principle: needed covering

    • Adam and Eve designed aprons (Genesis 3:7 )—girdle, loin-covering, loin-cloth, belt
    • God designed coats (Genesis 3:21)—tunic, a long shirt-like garment usually made of linen (here made of skins); root meaning—covering

The Priestly Garb—Principle:  special dress to show honor and respect for God

    • And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for glory and for beauty (Exodus 28:2).
    • And these are the garments which they shall make; a breastplate, and an ephod, and a robe, and a broidered coat, a mitre, and a girdle (Exodus 28:4a).

Saint’s Clothing in Heaven; Revelation 6:11; 7:9, 13, 14—a robe, a loose outer garment extending to the feet, worn by kings, priests, and persons of rank

  1. What can we learn from women of Bible times about clothing?

Strange Woman  of Proverbs 7—Principle:  clothing and appearance communicate to others.

    • Attire of a harlot (loud, stubborn, impudent face, aggressive, deceptive, flattering)

The Virtuous Woman—Principle:  clothing is more than clothes.

    • She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple (Proverbs 31:22).
    • Strength and honour  are her clothing (Proverbs 31:25a).
  1. What does the Bible define as “nakedness”?

In Scripture “nakedness” often means that only the undergarment was worn (Peter in John 21:7) or implies shameful exposure (Isaiah 47:1-3), and nakedness is often associated with “shame” or “disgrace” (Isaiah 47:3a; Nahum 3:5; Ezekiel 16:37; Revelation 3:18).

  1. Why did God not just tell us exactly what we should wear ?

Tips and Cautions:

  1. Notice how God taught in Genesis 3—–by questions that He already knew the answer for
    • Where art thou?
    • Who told thee that thou wast naked?
    • Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
    • What is this that thou hast done?

Our questions should be thoughtful, gracious, open-ended, and not condescending— even at a time of rebuke.

    • Describe this girl’s (picture of girl) appearance.
    • Where does the eye go first? (for a guy?  for a girl?)
    • What message is she giving?
    • In what different ways is she giving the message?
    • When you read Proverbs 7, how would these girls compare?
  1. Rebuke does not equal a teachable moment; there are better times to teach than when rebuking.
  2. Although it is necessary to establish dress guidelines for your youth group, be careful in supposing that the establishing of rules teaches a teen how to live biblically. God’s Word is our source book for all things pertaining to godliness (2 Peter 1:3).  We must not shortcut the process.  Bible principles must be taught,  questions must be asked and answered, discussion must be encouraged, and compassion for young Christians must be intact.
  3. A young person’s reception to the teaching of modesty is dependent upon her spiritual maturity. If steps one through three on the Spiritual Ladder (see page 66) have not been taken, teaching of Christian modesty may be mentally “rejected” even as it is being taught. Is the young person willing to do what God says?  A youth that is not “willing” to obey God’s Word is only taught Christian modesty as a method of controlling the “group dynamics,” not as a means to becoming more spiritual.
  4. Caution: Ladies should talk to girls about immodest appearance. It is inappropriate for men to discuss these issues with young ladies, and any discussion opens the door for problems for male youth leaders.