by Sam Brock

Saying yes and no is one of the hardest things you should be doing every day. Many times we procrastinate by saying “maybe” or “let me check on that and get back with you.” We put off the disappointment we know we will create when we say no, and we worry about the precedent we will set when we say yes. If your ministry is changing, you will have to say yes and no frequently. The ability to say yes or no is vital to following a plan, holding an expectation, or leading a team. Much goes into the process of saying yes or no, so don’t take this job lightly.

Before You Say Yes or No

• Listen. You may already have a preconceived idea of what your answer is going to be, but chances are there are two sides to the story. Listen for any information that would impact your yes or no.
• Ask questions. What vital pieces of information are missing?
• Do you have the whole story? Many times information is presented from one point of view. Fill in the context by getting the whole story.
• Was there time for your information to change? Just a few hours is all that is necessary to change a situation. Keep listening.
• Has this already been answered, or should I be answering? If it is somebody else’s job to say yes or no, you should stay out of it.

As You Say Yes or No

• Discuss what brought you to this conclusion. Letting your staff know the major reasons may let them know a bigger picture and how your mind works.
• Share the philosophy behind your conclusion. Constantly sharing the why behind the what helps your staff make good decisions in the future.
• Encourage input no matter what your answer is.
• Your answer should not be a secret. Your answer will undoubtedly affect others. Whom does it impact and how? Share that information with others.

If Yes

• Stick with your priorities. Your pet project may be way down the list; by saying yes to your pet project, you are saying no to a higher priority. Now people will need to figure out how something becomes your pet project instead of what is most important.
• Is this a one-time yes that will be a no many times in the future? The person who asks you for vacation after buying his plane ticket may be the perfect candidate for this type of yes. Make sure you are clear when the answer is yes once and no many times.
• At what point would your yes become a no? This information defines the boundaries and helps clarify expectations.
• Be excited! A yes that sounds like you want to say no is not very comforting.

If No 

• Make sure you are not just saying no because it is a burr under your saddle.
• Ask yourself if you can explain your no to everyone.
• When could no become a yes? Is there something that could change that would change the answer?
• Be compassionate. When saying no to the requisition for more tools, make sure the person you are saying no to knows that you have put yourself in his shoes. A cold-hearted no is hard to take.
• If you must say maybe, let the person know when they can expect a yes or no. Then do the work necessary to turn a maybe into a yes or no. The hard work of yes and no is yours to do. Go to it!